Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus.
Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me, send them while I'm alive.
My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.
We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.
If you've got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow.
Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Surrealism is destructive, but it destroys only what it considers to be shackles limiting our vision.
Ah just act the way ah feel.
I recommend that the Statue of Liberty be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the west coast.
Everyone is born a genius, but the process of living de-geniuses them.
Get off your butt and join the Marines!
Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop.
Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
The mystery of the beginning of all things is insoluble by us; and I for one must be content to remain an agnostic
The Declaration of Independence I always considered as a theatrical show. Jefferson ran away with all the stage effect of that... and all the glory of it.
As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.
At the heart of all beauty lies something inhuman.
Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.
Humility is attentive patience.
I am not a saint, unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying.