Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.