He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
I’ve been bitten by a python. It wasn’t a very big one…
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.