Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

It is better to be alone than in bad company.

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.

Cynicism is humour in ill health.

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.

To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.