Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
Itís a terrible thing to appear on television Ė because people think you actually know what youíre talking about!
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.