A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
Men are as faithful as their options.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.