We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
It’s a terrible thing to appear on television – because people think you actually know what you’re talking about!
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
No good deed goes unpunished.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.