Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'