You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.