I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.