When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.

My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.

I’ve been bitten by a python. It wasn’t a very big one…

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.

I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

You live but once; you might as well be amusing.

I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.