Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
I'm single because I was born that way.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
I've been on a calendar, but never on time.
If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.