When people start asking you to do the same thing over and over again, that's when you know you're way too close to something that you don't want to be near.

Any product that needs a manual to work is broken.

Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.

Do it again on the next verse, and people think you meant it.

I just want to retire before I go senile because if I don't retire before I go senile, then I'll do more damage than good at that point.

Show love, compassion, protection & generosity to those who depend on you – in fact, to everyone.

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.

We are all worms, but I do believe that I am a glow-worm.

Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems, in my opinion, to characterize our age.

As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.

One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.

If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be.

There's nothing in the world so demoralizing as money.

There is not such a cradle of democracy upon the earth as the Free Public Library, this republic of letters, where neither rank, office, nor wealth receives the slightest consideration.

Dare to risk public criticism.

I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.

A great city is the place to escape the true drama of provincial life, and find solace in fantasy.

Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays.

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.