No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.