He who would accomplish little must sacrifice little; he who would achieve much must sacrifice much; he who would attain highly must sacrifice greatly.

There's real poetry in the real world. Science is the poetry of reality

In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism.

Patriotism is usually stronger than class hatred, and always stronger than internationalism.

All that spirits desire, spirits attain.

I have often been accused of putting my foot in my mouth, but I will never put my hand in your pockets

I feel as if I were a piece in a game of chess, when my opponent says of it: That piece cannot be moved.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.

Jests that give pains are not jests.

A book is a mirror: if an ape looks into it an apostle is hardly likely to look out.

You’ll miss the best things if you keep your eyes shut.

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

Surrealism is destructive, but it destroys only what it considers to be shackles limiting our vision.

The bat thought I was giving him the kiss of life!

We are all now connected by the Internet, like neurons in a giant brain.

Comedy is acting out optimism.

God creates, I do not create. I assemble and I steal everywhere to do it - from what I see, from what the dancers can do, from what others do.

I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches.

Modesty and conscientiousness receive their reward only in novels. In life they are exploited and then shoved aside.