Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.

Being an intellectual creates a lot of questions and no answers.

Everything is vague to a degree you do not realize till you have tried to make it precise.

Any product that needs a manual to work is broken.

Boards don't hit back.

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.

As long as we believe in absurdities we shall continue to commit atrocities.

There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don't need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain.

I sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world.

If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be.

Radical simply means 'grasping things at the root'.

There is not such a cradle of democracy upon the earth as the Free Public Library, this republic of letters, where neither rank, office, nor wealth receives the slightest consideration.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.

A place for everything, and everything in its place.

I do not argue with obstinate men. I act in spite of them.

There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.

A stale article, if you dip it in a good, warm, sunny smile, will go off better than a fresh one that you've scowled upon.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.

Talk low, talk slow and don't say too much.

A great city is the place to escape the true drama of provincial life, and find solace in fantasy.

Where grief is fresh, any attempt to divert it only irritates.