I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
I awoke one morning and found myself famous.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I’ve been bitten by a python. It wasn’t a very big one…
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.