My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.

I'm single because I was born that way.

Humor is the most engaging cowardice.

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.

I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.

The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.