I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
I'm single because I was born that way.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.