Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.