You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.