What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
Men are as faithful as their options.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Sex is an emotion in motion.