This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
If your dog is going to suffer from diarrhea, it will happen between the time the carpet is cleaned for the holidays and the last holiday get-together.
Men are as faithful as their options.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.