But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
When you're drowning you don't think, 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me.' You just scream.
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.