I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
Sex is an emotion in motion.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.