When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
Humor is the most engaging cowardice.