Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.

Authority, without any condition and reservation, belongs to the nation.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.

Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus.

I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that`s OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots.

We need to keep hope alive and strive to do better.

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.

If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.

The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil and no good, nothing but blind pitiless indifference.

I like to think of myself at home in the armchair, writing, smoking and occasionally wandering down the shop.

All honor's wounds are self-inflicted.

How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.

The lifestyle I`ve been living for the last 30 years, I could have been dead a thousand times.

Genius is sorrow's child.

Jests that give pains are not jests.

Patriotism is usually stronger than class hatred, and always stronger than internationalism.

I am not ashamed to confess that I am ignorant of what I do not know.

It seldom happens that any felicity comes so pure as not to be tempered and allayed by some mixture of sorrow.

The word 'good' has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his grandmother at a range of five hundred yards, I should call him a good shot, but not necessarily a good man.

Our greatest foes - and whom we must chiefly combat - are within.