The idea is to write it so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart.

Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it.

External nature is only internal nature writ large.

It seldom happens that any felicity comes so pure as not to be tempered and allayed by some mixture of sorrow.

By desiring little, a poor man makes himself rich.

You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.

A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.

As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire.

If you talk bad about country music, it's like saying bad things about my momma. Them's fightin' words.

The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.

The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.

But there is only one thing which gathers people into seditious commotion, and that is oppression

As long as we believe in absurdities we shall continue to commit atrocities.

Delay always breeds danger. To protract a great design is often to ruin it.

I may not be better than other people, but at least I'm different.

Religion is like a knife: you can either use it to cut bread, or stick in someone's back.

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.

I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.