This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.