As long as we believe in absurdities we shall continue to commit atrocities.

Get off your butt and join the Marines!

If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.

People think I'm a miserable sod but it's only because I get asked such bloody miserable questions.

A lie never lives to be old.

A mediocre idea that generates enthusiasm will go further than a great idea that inspires no one.

Many have had their greatness made for them by their enemies.

Reputation is what men and women think of us; character is what God and angels know of us.

Talk low, talk slow and don't say too much.

One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.

The gift of words is the gift of deception and illusion.

He who never made a mistake, never made a discovery.

There is not such a cradle of democracy upon the earth as the Free Public Library, this republic of letters, where neither rank, office, nor wealth receives the slightest consideration.

Any product that needs a manual to work is broken.

The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.

To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.

Children are a wonderful gift. They have an extraordinary capacity to see into the heart of things and to expose sham and humbug for what they are.

Being an intellectual creates a lot of questions and no answers.

All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.

Will and intellect are one and the same thing.

The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good thing for the first time.