I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.

Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.

You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.

Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

You live but once; you might as well be amusing.

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?

I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.

A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.

Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.