I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'