To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.

Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.

The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.

Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.

I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.

I awoke one morning and found myself famous.

Women are made to be loved not understood.

I've been on a calendar, but never on time.

If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again.

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down

When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?

I have nothing to declare except my genius.

You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.