When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

Sex is an emotion in motion.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.

When you're drowning you don't think, 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me.' You just scream.

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

I have nothing to declare except my genius.

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.

Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.

What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.