I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?