Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.
If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.