A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.

I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.

I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.

If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?

When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

I drink to make other people more interesting.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.

I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.