Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.