If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.