I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again.
I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps