Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.