Sex is an emotion in motion.

You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Women are made to be loved not understood.

If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion

When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.

I will not join any club who will take me as a member

Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.

The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.

I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.

I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.

I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!