This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

I'm single because I was born that way.

A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.

You live but once; you might as well be amusing.

Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.

You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.

No good deed goes unpunished.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.