Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.

I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.

My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.

If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.

I've been on a calendar, but never on time.

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.

Women are made to be loved not understood.

I awoke one morning and found myself famous.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.

When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.

Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.

Cynicism is humour in ill health.

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.