As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion
If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.