I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.