You always admire what you really don't understand.

But there is only one thing which gathers people into seditious commotion, and that is oppression

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

A toast, Jedediah, to love on my terms. Those are the only terms anybody ever knows - his own.

Nothing is black or white.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

Animals, whom we have made our slaves, we do not like to consider our equal.

Young heads take example of the ancient.

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned.

There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best parts.

I can see in your eyes, I can see in your faces, I can see you cry. But what I want to say, there's no reason to cry. Do not, in the name of peace, go in the streets and riot.

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.

He who never made a mistake, never made a discovery.

A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.

I sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world.

All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire.

The future is something which every one reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.

There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don't need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain.

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

Abuse of words has been the great instrument of sophistry and chicanery, of party, faction, and division of society.

I have only ever read one book in my life, and that is White Fang. It's so frightfully good I've never bothered to read another.