Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.

There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.

Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.

The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.

It is better to be alone than in bad company.

I drink to make other people more interesting.