It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.

When you're drowning you don't think, 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me.' You just scream.

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.

Sex is an emotion in motion.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.

Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

Humor is the most engaging cowardice.

Cynicism is humour in ill health.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.