May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.