My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
No good deed goes unpunished.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.
You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
I'm single because I was born that way.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.