You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.