You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.

There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.

Women are made to be loved not understood.

It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.

It is better to be alone than in bad company.

A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.

Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.

When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.