He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.

I awoke one morning and found myself famous.

Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

Cynicism is humour in ill health.

If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.

My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.

I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.

A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.

Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?

Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.

Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.

A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.