When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

I drink to make other people more interesting.

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.

If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.

I awoke one morning and found myself famous.

I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?

When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.

I have nothing to declare except my genius.

What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.

I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.

No good deed goes unpunished.

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.

Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.