Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.

Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.

I will not join any club who will take me as a member

I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.

I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.

If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.

One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.

Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.

You live but once; you might as well be amusing.

I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.